My story of gratitude and the healing road of my daughter and myself commenced when she went to Anchor Ranch. I was co-dependant and I questioned the firmness and length of the programme. I concluded that her recovery was long but could NOT ever have been shorter. Today my daughter has blossomed into a disciplined, hardworking, conscientious, God fearing, honest, dedicated, clear thinking, loving, caring young adult and the list can go on. I thank the Lord for these people that only have one thing at heart and this is the full recovery of our loved ones, not just physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually too. The support even I as the affected person received from the people of Anchor has often exceeded all expectations.
For many years I was self-centred and a egotistic brat that truly believed the world and everyone on it owed me something. Everything I did had a motive behind it and to me life was just one big fight; seeing how I can do people in, in order to get what I wanted. When I went to Anchor it took me a while to fully grasp the importance of discipline. I learnt that discipline shows in the smallest things like brushing your teeth, in how you make your bed or clean and pack your cupboard. At Anchor I also learnt how to feel and express my emotions, something I still struggle with but can now acknowledge when I’m feeling a certain way. One thing I’m tremendously grateful for is that I feel Anchor Ranch taught me how to stand on my own two feet. I learnt that every action has a consequence. A lot of my impulsivity came from my fleshly desires. Recovery taught me how to enjoy being around people and also how to enjoy being alone because in the past I couldn’t socialize with people unless I was under the influence and I hated being alone. Being alone previously frustrated me whereas now I find it peaceful. The process at Anchor helped me restore my relationship with my mom which I am most grateful for. I also understand that our relationship will never be 100% as I caused a lot of damage but our relationship has definitely grown and I am content with how things are because it’s a work in progress.
I was physically and emotionally drained when I went to Anchor. I had a victim mentality and blamed my family and everyone else for all my problems. I did not want to be at Anchor but as time went on Anchor taught me about all the different defects I had adopted as defence mechanisms, ways of avoiding pain and emotions and numbing tactics. Anchor provided a barrier, a kind yet firm safety net. They guided me through these feelings with prayer and counselling and helped me identify what I was feeling which was hopeless, alone and lost. They taught me to look to God and not people for hope. They taught me that in Him I would find restoration, healing and forgiveness for myself and others. At first I conformed and did everything that was expected of me to avoid trouble. I was also not capable of showing emotion or revealing true feelings for a good few months. As time went by I was able to trust a bit more every day. They did not give up on me for a day and it softened me bit by bit. I had never allowed people that close. I reached a point where I wanted to feel and talk and confess no matter what the cost. I knew I could not do it on my own and became grateful for the importance of the people at Anchor; realizing how much they sacrifice so God can use them to help me. I wanted to listen to their advice, wanted to follow the program, wanted the change they help make possible. They were there every step of the difficult road. I learnt the importance of integrity, discipline and the correct value system and what it entails. How doing small things the correct and honourable way leads to the correct way of life. I learnt through duties and work allocations how important taking responsibility is and how important making the right choice at the right moment is and to consider how every actions has a consequence attached to it that not only affects myself but others too. It was an extremely difficult road but the staff at Anchor made themselves available to me 24/7 and they took my life seriously. Though there were times that I was fearful and wanted to back off at each new step, each new responsibility they were firm and reassuring all the way.